Dear Prudence...

Won’t you come out to play.
Dear Prudence,
Greet the brand new day
The sun is out, the sky is blue,
It’s beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence,
Won’t you come out to play.

Prudence: Wisdom. Insight. Knowledge.
Not the action, but rather the motivation for appropriate action at a given time and place. The exercising of sound judgment.

Should I stay or should I go now? (Clash)
With or without you? (U2)

Three songs, all relating in someway to the same question we all face from time to time: now what?

Should I stay or should I go now?
Have I been in the same place so long that it is now time to move on, to go out and play? It is so easy to want a change of scenery. Possibly Prudence is here to show me that where I am is where I need to stay, perhaps a move is not in the picture…yet. Or maybe that is Prudence packing my bags, hinting to me that it is time to go.

With or without you?
Do I go it alone? Am I in a life that needs another to help, or will the other hinder? Do I seek this other for comfort? Is it love or am I settling because I have not yet found a Better Man (Pearl Jam)? Perhaps Prudence is holding up a mirror to show me I am beautiful enough a person to continue it solo. Or maybe Prudence is singing out so I recognize the person in front of me is truly my mate, sans mirror of course….

Dear Prudence,
Open up your eyes
Dear Prudence,
See the sunny skies
The wind is low, the birds will sing
That you are part of everything
Dear Prudence,
Won’t you open up your eyes.

Prudence is inside each of us…docilitas…an open mindedness. Prudence helps us to recognize true variety of things and situations. We turn to others for advice because Prudence needs the input of others who have lived, who have the experience and authority of a given idea.

Dear Prudence, open my eyes so I too may see the sunny skies. I need that clear day coaxing me out with promises of warmth and adventure. I need to hear the birds calling me out to relish in beautiful surroundings. Dear Prudendce, I want to know where it is I need to be, so I can truly be a part of this life.

Dear Prudence, open up my eyes.

Look around, round, round, round, round….

Choices. Bombarding from every direction. Dear Prudence, open my circumspection. Help the battling choices creating chaos in my mind work out a way to peace. Make the answers more clear just as the days for which you want me to join. Dear Prudence, don’t make the day sunny and bright, yet cold and crisp… the sun’s heat better felt through closed windows. One choice may seem simple, yet wrong, like shorts on a blustery day. Close my eyes to those tricks. Dear Prudence, Look Around. Where can I go?

Do I stay inside today, or do I go out into the world?
Where are my sunny skies? Where are the birds calling me to be?
Like a little child on a new adventure...
Open up my eyes to see where it is I can go to play.
Dear Prudence, I would like to smile again.
Dear Prudence.


(Dear Prudence - John Lennon; The Beatles)

The "Season" of Lent

It’s a Christian thing. Actually, I think it is more a Catholic thing. I grew up Catholic. I remember the season of lent and the importance my family put on the “prep time” for Easter. I remember the abstinence from meat on Friday’s. I remember going to the Knights of Columbus hall for the weekly fish fry (why was fish not considered meat anyway?). I remember my birthday ALWAYS happened during lent, so Friday birthday parties were cheese pizza and mozzarella sticks. I remember HATING lent.

Today, I love visiting my parents during this season going with them to the “Knight’s” hall for fried fish and beer. Today, I love the idea of self check and sacrifice. Today, I realize that Lent is actually the reason for my becoming vegetarian. And today, no longer a practicing Catholic, I have discovered in my peers a new focus regarding the season of Lent. And it kind of depresses me.

There are some things the Catholics do with success: instill feelings of guilt, worship with sensory appeal (you see the crucifix, touch the holy water, smell the incense, hear the word, taste the Eucharist), and faithfully practice their holy days (such as Easter, Christmas, Good Friday, the Annunciation, Christ’s Ascension). The Catholics have their "Holy Days of Obligation." People fast. People get ashes placed upon their foreheads. People abstain from guilty pleasures. People light candles. People confess sins to a priest. People pray the rosary. It’s a Catholic thing!

Outside the Catholic faith, this lent “thing” is a completely different beast. As I facilitate communications with my teens, I discover their view of lent models more a second go round at New Year’s resolutions. Their initial resolve to lose weight is lost with the coming of February or March. But hey, it’s lent, here’s an idea: I’ll give up chocolate. Why?
For the mentality of a teenager: "If I don’t eat chocolate for 40 days, I will loose 40 pounds."
Selfish bastards.

Kidding. So, since when did Lent become such selfish practice? Since when did these 40 days become a short term resolution testing ground? Now, I won’t stand upon my soap box and say: “Lent is a time to make sacrifices so you can become more in tuned to the ways of the true Christ.” Sometimes I think Christ would laugh at our over bearing piousness.

Here is my soapbox sticker for the Season of Lent:
Why do we need a sacrifice to make ourselves miserable “for Christ” during such a time when winter blahs are already at their height. I’ve mentioned before that the Chinese get it right by celebrating the New Year with light, bright colors, family and FOOD!
In my opinion, this is not a season to be miserable. This is a season for self improvement, but not defined by ideas of selfish gain. A personal belief in God is not my issue. My issue deals with the motivation behind “giving up chocolate” for forty days. To fast from something is great, but such personal sacrifice for self improvement should be done to: (A) become more spiritual (ask Buddhist monks about this) or (B) open eyes to the suffering of others.
Really, lent should not a time to renew New Year's resolutions. It works much better as a time to open our eyes to new ideas, lifestyles...a time to look outside ourselves and focus attention on those not as lucky to have the abundance of "chocolate" to "give up." It is a time to retune our soul, psyche, or essence if you will, to the world around and outside our immediate physical sphere.

That is all. I descend my soapbox.

Happy New Year

again...

The 7th of February was the official beginning of Chinese New Year celebrations. It is the first day of the “new” year which contains the new moon. What a great way to start! The new year “begins” this day, because celebrations go on for fourteen days!! (Like our Mardi Gras, but shorter) They celebrate during the time when “winter blues” are at greatest height. The Chinese are genius! They surround themselves with light, bright colors, and family. Three things which help dissolve winter sadness that tends to occur during the shortest and coldest days of the year. Again, I say Genius.

So I officially bid you Welcome... to the Year of the Rat.

I love Chinese astrology. Much more than I like the known “signs” associated with our birth months. Chinese astrology is annually based. It simply astounds me to think that ALL those born the same year as I, all who are currently in their 28th year of life, are akin to me in some astrological attributes. Now I understand that, as with many astrological predictions and associations, the definitions are so vast that you are sure to find some similiarities to your “sign.” But I am not going to burst bubbles or blow secrets on Santa Claus. The stars make complete sense and are to be trusted; we should all live by astrological expectations.
Or, better yet, let us just have fun reading the zodiac’s characterization of personalities.

I am a sheep.
I am the “most artistic or creative sign of the zodiac.”
The sheep has a great sense of fashion (ok…missed that one…)
Is extremely beautiful (I think they mean inside…)
Tries not to hurt anyone’s feelings (true…)
Very sympathetic and at times can be too sensitive for the real world (again, true…)
Sometimes requires too much attention and impose too much on others (I don’t do that do I?? Hm, hm, tell me now…I need to know…do I impose?!? I’m coming over, I need to know. We need to talk about this!!)
Can be insecure (is this bad? You are still my friend right?)
Shies away from confrontation and pulls back when faced with heavy decisions (I really don’t feel too strongly either way in this matter…)

Are all 28 year olds like this? Again, I think the defining terms are so vast that we can all be sheep in our own funny little bleating way.

What really facinates me though, are the similarities between the different year rotations. There are 12 animal signs which cycle through the Chinese zodiac. So there is animal overlap through the ages.
For example: Both my mother and my older brother are Tigers. Why couldn’t I have been a tiger, how cool is that! My dad shares the Dog sign with my younger brother…hahahaha, dogs!
The fascinating part: In my family my ma and older brother were very similar, as well as my dad and younger brother. I was odd gal out -the “black sheep” if you will (but not in a bad way).

Those Tigers: warm-hearted yet fearsome, courageous yet yielding. They like visiting unusual places, enjoy first-hand experiences, assess situations prior to action, and are generally optimistic. I can see the “tiger” in my ma and bro.
And the Dog: loyal, trustable, duty bound. They can be stubborn and temperamental. Often they need warming up to others and can often be judgmental. Dogs also like hands-on activities. And again, I see this in my dad and younger brother.

So what shoes will the babies born in this year of the Rat have to fill? The Rat, by the way, is the first sign of the cycle. Rats are leaders. Charming, passionate, practical and hardworking. They are energetic and versatile and adapt to various environments easily. (Some of this sounds eerily like the real animal…)

I read this off a Chinese zodiac website: “Behind the smiles and charm, rats can be terribly obstinate and controlling. … These people tend to have immense control of their emotions, which they may use as a tool to manipulate and exploit others.” Sad, the rodent started out well enough.
I will not make assumptions from this sign in regards to the type of year we face. But I did shudder when I realized it is an election year. I wonder what “animal” will be chosen to lead our country by this year’s end.

Oh, and just FYI:
Hillary Clinton and Ron Paul are both Pigs
Barack Obama is an Ox
John McCain is a Rat
Mike Huckabee is a Sheep

Positively Pessimistic Pondering Proverbial “P’s”

Monday, 29 October 2007 8:36 pm

Tonight I sit with my dictionary open, pondering the 7 P’s

Passion: A beautiful bowl of mixed nuts. Let us begin with the theological ideas associated with the passion of Christ, or the “oratorio based on a gospel narrative of the Passion” aka – Christ-like “suffering.” Um…let us venture to the more “worldly” definition ranging between ardent affection; the strong desire for / devotion to; a sexual desire; an outbreak of anger.
So…a range from anger to love to lust to deep religious sufferings. In a nutshell, let us just all get emotional.
What am I passionate about? According to our friends from Merriam Webster, any strong feeling I have could be passion. I can certainly say there is no strong sexual desire in any direction. Nor a strong suffering passion as one felt by the Christ in moments of self sacrifice. A strong desire for or devotion to…when I sit and think, I believe I must be off track somewhere because I do not feel such a strong desire for or devotion to anything. Standing outside my own shoes, many could say I have a passion for my job, for my kids. I mean, I do spend considerable time with and for those who seemingly take such a “passion” for granted. No. I cannot say I am passionately devoted to that work, unless we retreat back to that religious sacrifice thing, but... um, let’s not go there. I feel more drain from trying so hard to provide a positive environment for these kids who fight so hard to make this faith thing fit within their own individual agendas. They love the ideas, but only when it fits tucked away neatly within their sporting events and sleepovers.
A passion for my life? No. I would trade it easily. Satisfaction would fit, yet that does not begin with P. I think my passion would be more fitting as an “anti-passion:" those things which I would truly do well in their absence. Like television. And reality shows. And litter bugs. And those who would rather sit inside watching reality shows on television than enjoy the sun shining outside. A short digression of a story: the other day was a wonderfully brisk October day, not too cold as to keep you shivering in your jacket, yet not too warm as to illicit sweat as you walked three steps. So off I went with the mod squad, my three dogs, for a walk, accompanied by my friend and her little mop of a dog. As I walked around one of Pensacola’s great parks, I noticed there were not that many folks outside taking advantage of this great clear skied, October Saturday. Those who did venture out were sitting on park benches while their four legged “children” romped around in the water with the other dogs. Can we not enjoy the uninhibited play that our dogs so willingly enjoy? I do not know where my passion lays, perhaps one day I will figure it out, but as for me and my herd, we are passionate about these clear, crisp fall days in Florida which are few and far between.

Purpose: an intention, a resolution. An aim to oneself.
Ha. I must be in some form of rut. My purpose is to continue making house payments! In a perfect world, I would like to be a writer. Yet I know my writing is mediocre. Gosh. What is my purpose? It feels like trying to answer the age old question: when I die, what will I be remembered for? “Yep, that was a girl who sacrificed her social life for lives of teenagers. She owned a house, bought for the comfort of those mangy dogs. She kept and cared for her brothers crap, both literally and figuratively.” I could think of many ways in which I could have purpose, but as of current reality, my purpose does not really extend further than keeping my house clean of animal hair, the laundry done, the dishes wa"r"shed, etcetera in the domestics department.
Optimistically speaking, my purpose is to find happiness, both with others and within my own being. Watch out Buddha, here I come to sit a spell and ponder this whole happiness thing.

Pursuit: Don’t get me started on the pursuit in relation to that weeping willow of a writer in the “Eat, Pray, Love” vomit city. Pursuit: To follow up or proceed with. To engage in. Here’s my favorite: to Haunt. Oh what fun it would be to “haunt”
“To proceed with, to seek, to aim for as in a goal.” I can resemble this. I just have get my sights set in one direction. I do want to move on from this rut. And I would love to say I am active in my perusal, that pursuit
being the Mele Café. I would love to own and cook for a café all of my own and it be a wonderful commotional mingling of food, music, literature, and art. All things, ...brace for the backtrack… all things which hold my passion. Yet, I feel passion is too strong a word because when it comes to the four listed, I know mostly about food. I know some literature, but not enough, and ditto for music. As for art, we are not well acquainted. But that does not mean I would like to abandon all perusal of knowledge. I would like to reopen my sponge of a brain and begin soaking in those areas which interest my heart.
Warning… another sidetrack: Years ago, I got a degree from a university…a little no name college chosen because it was “close to home.” I got, for my person, a useless degree chosen because it was “easy.” Now don’t get me wrong, psychology is a perfectly admirable field of study. But could I do it over again, I would. I would go a more writing, journalism, artsy direction. I would study art history and try my hand in the creation of art. But my art is my cooking. And sometimes, when driven, my art is my writing.
For the final ingredient in my café: my feature of “local” flavor: local artists, musicians, writers, and such. Local talent is too easily overlooked for the pop culture trends…so there – welcome to my “five year plan.”

Position: why all these words with long definitions ranging from small to huge! Ok, let us take the easy route, and rather than dealing with the physical nature in the hierarchal arrangements of crap. let us commit our focus to the definitive point of view.
Call me Desperado, and no, I will not come down from my fences. I am proud to be a fence sitter. My Quote: “I do not feel strongly on either side of that issue.” I am my own “Devil’s Advocate.” I have no problem offering an opinion on either side of the position. I am an indigreen republicat. Don’t ask me about liberals and conservatives, I don’t know what those words really mean, and I will not pretend to care. I believe in our earth and will do what I can to help her out. I like to walk and ride my bike. I value the human life and the lifting of emotions; the building up of esteem. But I will not bomb an abortion clinic. I believe in peace. And my position will aim in that direction.

Pummeling…WHAT?? To pound or beat? What pummels me? Myself. That is easy. I am never satisfied. I feel like life has put me in a rut, and I am pummeling myself for getting here…but not to the point of never making that change. Well, some days sure, but some days no. Yea, my worst pummeling comes from me.

Progress…this is truly a joke. To proceed. To develop to a higher, better, or more advanced stage.
This comes two fold. I have progressed in the ten or so years since high school. I have a job with potential of career. I own my house. I have three farting dogs. I have progressed. I went from one job which broke me down to another job in a better situation. Yet, personally, I don’t like where I am. I could think now to many other paths I would have preferred had I taken the time to stop and think and really follow some instincts. Though I cannot honestly say those “passions” were apparent when I was in my younger 20’s. I feel they have surfaced in the past four or so years. So when you look at those realizations of passions over my recent history, I have progressed none at all. I am still in a job that wears me out, praying that it DOES NOT become career. But trudging along because I need that house payment. Since when was that sufficient motivation for an “X-er”?

Personality…the quality or state of being a person. I love Merriam Webster, state of being a person, "I think, therefore I am." Here we go…the complex of characteristics that distinguishes an individual or a nation or group. The totality of an individual’s behavioral and emotional characteristics. I love it, “the totality”
Are we ever totally fit within our personality? It changes with our situations. I can be a lighthearted air head not caring about what others think of me. Then I can be a sarcastic conversationalist wanting others to think of me. Then I can be a defensive brat denying what others think of me. And I can be a solitary ghost not wanting others to think of me. And I am happy on all levels, pending the mood, the situation, and the company all match like bed in a bag special at Wal Mart.
My personality: I am generally a happy, sarcastic giver who will do anything for another with good ol’ southern hospitality, but given the opportunity, would be just as happy cozying up on the couch with a good book, sans company save the farting dogs. I think I am easily liked, when you can crack an initially shy outer covering. I do not have many friends, but the ones I do have will be around for a long while. I can fly by the seat of my pants, so long as I can bring the herd or find them a sitter, I am truly game for just about anything. Though mind you, do not make me choose, because as I said before, I really do not have a strong opinion either way in the matter. My personality is about as complex, yet adaptable, as these “P” definitions in the Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary.

Thank you, and good night.